THE MOOD OF DECEMBER: FALLEN LEAVES

As far as I can recall, I have always been loving December - as much as I love the time between Saturday nite and Sunday morning, and the early dawn, and the dusky late afternoon. There is definitely something pretty good about those periods of time - the longing sense, the peaceful state of moment, the lonesome atmosphere, and the warmth - even the cold.

Most of all, December gives me such cute stuffs that my senses just completely fall for them.

Being a meticulous person, I find it beautiful to see simple things such as fallen leaves - whether they are flown away by the moist wind of December's sunshine, or drenched in drops of December's rain. The changing colors of the leaves is not only amazing, but also romantic.

It seems like it's love.

It seems like it's longing.

IT ROCKS!

I think I really was destined to experience this.

On my daily basis, I sit down, click on my favorite author's blog, and become such a silent reader - and it's always so much fun to read bright thoughts of hers and find brand new things - which one of them is Rockybars by Cokelatia.

When I first knew it, I just couldn't think of anything else other than having it and tasting it. After reading the short review written by my inspirational blogger, I got more and more curious about Rockybars.

MILESTONE

This is one of events in my life which receives special attention. An important moment of mine.

When I flew away from home to a new place, I just knew that changes occurred. Some things simply remained the way they were, but some other just altered.

Adding to the fact that my dreams do come true, there is also something about me which is inspired. In turns, it is my precious time to start knowing more about myself and loving me more than before - through many sincere ways.

It's as if I were a certain "place" in the world - an exciting spot which is either truly unique or simply cool - then, a milestone is right there on the center of it all - pointing out into many fascinating directions and guiding me there through its paths.

Then, I also play an important role of making marks, at zero point - that every good direction just simply starts here - from me - no matter where each of it exactly directs to.

WHO CARES?!

actually, i don't care if my students simply make unnecessary noises in the classroom. unnecessary means something like talking in loud voices to each other, while some other students have a quite hard time to concentrate doing the test.

really, i don't care.

maybe, those who make noises actually don't either, but i think it is a moral imperative for me to - at least - warn them once - just once. more warning means only making the situation much more exagerrative. so, i care only a little.

what more can i do? they are actually grown-ups at their teen ages. i can't simply be hard to them.

why don't i think that it is necessary for me to tell them that somehow they just annoyingly disturb the whole class?

because i don't care!

SOARING

Talking about failed ambition these days, it seems like I can feel it even more. 

Icarus is about a reality to me. With his determination to conquer the sky as a matter of escaping from Crete, along with his wings of feathers and wax, flying too close to the burning sun, and falling into the sea - drowned, I know I have that urge within me to go as high as he did.

I always dream high - flying like a bird without any wings, literally. Icarus might be hubristic, while I am sort of realistic.

SHE'S A REBEL!

So, I met this girl and she's just like one of a kind. I happen to realize her existence recently and decide to befriend her. I may not go along well with her most of the time, but I'm about to stand by her in this crazy mixed-up world!

Being a contradiction, she's among those girls who mark different attitudes in unique, kind of good ways. Simply, she doesn't belong to commoners. She's quite bold in showing her difference - it might be because she's not around her kinds. As a result of being contradictory, she feels like the world around her is just against her. She told me that she dreamed about meeting her own kinds of contradictions and mingling. She said that it might help her feel just "normal" - being with the same kind of contradictions.

DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL

my dad is my man - for sure.

no matter how i screw him so bad that he was mad at me, but still loves me dearly,  there is always that thing deep inside me which encourages me to make him happy.

i may have been miserable daughter for the rest of my life, but i bet there are some things that are literally guilty pleasure of having me as his little girl.

all my life, i grew up with my dad as my only guardian. my parents were separated when i was about 3 or 4 years old. being the youngest girl of 5 siblings, i had my dad and my older sisters/brothers take care of me. being the smallest daughter, i found myself was emotionally tied with the figure of father in my dad.

i remember when i used to take a shower with my dad, i noticed something on his skin that was particular to my eyes and i liked touching it with my fingers. i also remembered the scar along his upper back from an accident which burnt him. also, his permanent injury on his left index finger for coming into grinder when he was working at his machine shop. it makes him unable to flexibly move the finger as the joints is no longer able to bend. to me, he is a tough man - despite all of his imperfections. i love him.