LALALAAA ...

When I was younger, back then, music was something pretty much cooler. It's not that I don't like today's music - but I do miss the time when music was something more than beautiful tunes/amazing voices/great lyrics; it was something I grew up with. Simple as that!

Everything has its era, and to me, 90's music was incredibly something. Brilliant. No matter how I often go back to prior era , or go forward to today's music, I find that it is always 90's which I can refer to for some comforts.

Music is essential to me. It is something I always turn to mostly everyday. Even if I can't actually put my headset on to listen to any songs, I will still sing instinctively - or at least, I will hum songs - softly singing. It is just me. I always feel like I am attached to melody, for it is one of the all-time mood boosters of mine. There is always song for any situations - good/happy, bad/sad, or even anxiety. Music and I are more likely honey to the bee - simply close. There is an extraordinary feeling which I can't literally explain about blocking my ears from the noisy of the world outside of me by putting on my headset - it truly is my personal enjoyment, the place and the moment where I live my life at the most. Such a cool distraction!

Growing up in a family as the youngest one whose father and mother were music enthusiasts, and big sisters and brothers were big fanatics of music, who all were pretty much into english-sung songs, I have the tendency to enjoy english songs - strictly up to now.

As a little girl, the first thing that turned my fondness into english songs was the music itself - pop music - because I didn't understand the language yet. The more I grew up, the more I was able to comprehend english - word by word into phrase by phrase. Surprisingly, at very young age, I realized that I was a natural learner of english. I know, there was no such thing as a natural learner, but what I mean is, I found it was easier to me to learn english than any other subjects at school. Soon, my english ability improved through enjoying songs in English.

I still remember how I just could quietly sit in the late afternoon in front of amazing appliance at home: an all-in-one LD/CD/VCD/DVD player; listening to songs hours by hours, enjoying the beats and trying to figure out the meaning of the lyrics. Even when I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, I would sneak out of my bedroom, tip-toed silently, and turned on the player after putting my headset on. How comforting it was all!

Besides the music itself, the lyrics, and the videos, the singers do matter - just as significant as the language. Being a true music listener without having ability to professionally play any music instruments or sing, I have long lists of favorite singers - from the soloist, the duos, the groups and the bands, both males and females. Those lists include any genres of music - from pop, R&B, jazz, and even some kinds of rock. And yes, they all are not Indonesians.

Well, OK, I have to admit that I seem to always have that patriotism issue with myself. Since I was a little girl, it looked like I always made up my preference dealing with anything that was NOT from Indonesia - my mother land, which makes my existence matters. I am truly aware that most of my friends, my colleagues, everyone that I know - have reacted disapprovingly about my choice, which is mostly everything that is not  from Indonesia - be it song, films, books, etc. 

But, hey! They can't be that serious about judging me that I don't love my country/my nation that MUCH. What may be the standart, the measurement of our love to our country? Loving the culture of other countries - which includes the bold choice of music - doesn't indicate that I don't love Indonesia. Talking about patriotism today, so far I have done a lot, as best as I can, to show my love to my country. Against all my imperfections, I have been trying to be such a good citizen that I can proudly say, all the way, I am an Indonesian, though I don't listen to Indonesian songs.

Other people only see the big pictures, without even taking glance to the details. When iIprefer Indonesian food for munching, I ❤ Indonesia. When I was the best student at schools, I ❤ Indonesia. When I was among the city-level Paskibra troop - proudly hoisting the national flag: Sang Merah Putih, I ❤ Indonesia. When I was with the Praja Muda Karana troop - joining the National/Asia-Pacific Jamboree, I ❤ Indonesia. When I wear Batik, I ❤ Indonesia. Even when I speak English - realizing how lovely it sounds to my ears, I ❤ Indonesia, because if I were an American or an English, how could I be so happy about it? for English is something I learn through fun process, then I thought it would be just an ordinary thing if I were born with it as my mother-tongue. Simply, when I don't throw rubbish carelessly, I ❤ Indonesia. Has anyone noticed those things? Hardly ever!

At first, it was hard. I felt like I didn't belong there - around those people who thought that I was a weirdo. I always turn to my family, as they are always the ones who share the same thing about music with me.

I figured out that it's difficult for me to enjoy Indonesian songs. To my ears, English songs sound much better - not only the way I spell it, or the accent, but also the gorgeous gists of the words. I don't mind listening to Indonesian songs - mostly accidentally, not intentionally -  but I just don't enjoy them. I respect them on my own way.

As vital as it is, music represents any state-of-mind of mine just every single day. It definitely makes my day ♫

picture: private document