FINALLY BERRY!

The almost long-forgotten dream of mine has finally come true.

It does sound pretty silly to have ever forgotten something like dream - whether it's an "ordinary" dream or biggest one. But hey, is there even an "ordinary" dream?  Sure dream is extraordinary - whoever dreams it, whatever it is, how "simple" it is. Well, here i go again - having a difficult time of arguing with my very own self/alter ego.

Seriously, what i meant by almost long-forgotten is simply something which i casually put aside for a while - but, it lives - still burning in the back of my mind. It's just about the right time that my subconscious awakes and claims it.

Since i have always been pretty nostalgic and defensively stubborn, i can tell that i seem to manage my memories (and dreams) well. I can both simply endure hardships to get them memorized and come into reality, and persistently get them forgotten and, eerrr, changed into much more come-to-my-sense, logical and reachable dreams. Just like a meaningful quote which i ever read, that  we may dream anything, but wisely start it with a real simple dream within our reach, and make it even bigger time after time; or else, change our dream, dream another thing. I guess it's more to it, as everyone has their own destiny, power, and endurance. For me, I always have that feeling of "oh, here comes the end. just stop", or "well, it's not yet over. keep it up." Guess it has been the rhythm of my life - so far.

Much to my gastronomic experience, I have been wondering a lot about blueberries and raspberries. More than anything in the whole world that I want to let myself taste them, as much as I always have that exotic sense when seeing both fruits. Why them? Because living in a tropical country makes it very hard to get me the experience with those non-tropical fruits; besides, they are not common both in daily consumption and in markets around me.

Moreover, blueberries.

Hearing the sound of the spelling makes me think of some places far away, wild, with less sun rays, cold, "bold", and strangely beautiful - whatever it means! Just like the velvety dark color of the fruit, I remember a farewell moment of my pastime when my friend told me , "thanks for showing me the meaning of blue which is other than sadness." Even though indigo is never my favorite color, I fond of the bright tone of the fruit every time I see it; and I love what I see when seeing it: the small edible fruit, with a flared crown at the end; pale greenish at first, then reddish-purple, and finally dark blue when ripe, in a protective powdery coating which feels cutely supple in the touch of my fingertips. I took my first bite excitedly, and felt the fleshy texture along with a sweet taste and certain acidity. I was, as usual, surprised. Not even close to something I have imagined before! I kind of blaming myself for the unexpected taste. But as excitedly as I got, mixing the blueberries with a small red microwavable Pizza Hut bowl of cornflakes with milk was a blast! The rather sour in the blueberries melted nicely with the crunchy and sweet cereals. I am in love completely! Just like falling for the imagination about walking down a nice pathway deep in the forest in my comfy leather boots and a red velvety coat with hood (something like Goldilocks, but of course without any bears or wolf), with a basket in my hand, finding a bush of blueberry, and picking the fresh fruits just happily. Or else, much reasonable, I always imagine myself about enjoying blueberry muffin or any cereals with blueberries. I can say that it's not only about some super food to eat, but also due to the color combination of the food, it is also an art - the edible one. Looking at the color crush shown when put into a serving of cereals, I feel the more I love the fruits.

Having watched My Blueberry Nights which is not actually related to blueberries, except for the blueberry pie, I can compare it in my simple perspective to The Color Purple which is literally with some purple shades only at the end of the film - some purplish clothing and a beautiful field full of blooming purple cosmos flowers. I told myself to see it as it is, to take it as it is, and the sweet-yet-sour life is hard to deny.

Much to my keenness on red, raspberries catch my attention by their intense color, particularly: red raspberries. Despite the fact that there are many kinds of raspberries varying in colors, raspberries in red seem to be the very first memory I can recall about the fruits. It was when I closely looked at the label of a bottle of syrup that I was initially curious about them. The variant of the syrup itself is never my favorite, but the sweet and sultry aroma of it smells just like the real fresh fruits once I tasted them. Besides the color distraction, raspberries amaze me with their typical distinction: the drupelets, each of which consists of a juicy pulp, and their hollow cores. They get the more exotic for being planted in winters and fruiting all year-round; from early summer, midsummer, to autumn, for I have been dearly admiring every mood of each season. Not actually experience every of it myself, but they just simply stay in my mind well for I have taken each mood of them from books i read, movies i watch, music i listen to, and all.

Thinking about how I live my life every single day, there are times when I feel completely moron and feel like losing grip; simply unable to find more meaning within it. I feel like there's gotta be more to life than those routines, that one-sided love, all those things; but what is it? 

What's the spark now?

Among the energy-consuming matters in my life : working my ass hard and earning a living, being far away from home and missing it badly, hesitantly opening up myself and not-so-casually getting along with others, heart-to-heart session with god, boosting my mood, crazily/stupidly being into him and longing for him while trying hard to get him off, and dreaming those biggest dreams; spark is all that it takes to keep me sane, not to lose my sense of gratitude.

This very time, berry reminds me to stop for a moment before I forever lose the blessings of life - moreover, when I have no single clue or reason assuring me that this very life I'm living is worth living.

It has finally come to this: the fulfilling dream, and I do feel at ease.

Coming up next?

Uummm, it could be some plums and green olives!

picture: private documents