MOMENTARILY GOT ME DOWN!

There are moments when I feel like ... choked up.

Moments when I feel that my baby-whining is not worth even a single approval.

Moments when I feel that my being weakness does not at all matter.

Moments when all my resentments are definitely unnecessary.

Moments when I feel like being slapped on the cheek.

Moments when I feel like being stabbed, right in the heart.

Moments ... when I whisper to God, "Please, let me - just let me do it. Let me."

Exceptionally Exceptional

Living a new role as a life partner of someone is something beyond my expectations.

I feel selfless (happen-to-be, or unaware).

Magnanimous.

Desirous.

And, I feel like I have betrayed myself, at the beginning, in a way that I would never do in the past - the great and positive way.

Though I was typical little girl growing up with Disney's distinctive idealism of finding the Prince Charming and having a happy-ending life in marriage, I always seem to go with my true-self, being rebellious, out of mainstream way - for I never thought that getting married was a dream I badly wanted to make it come true. I mean, wait up, just let me settle another things other than getting married. I know that at certain point of my age, I just have to take it into my consideration - that eventually I have to settle down, no longer running around. But the feeling like I want to live alone is bigger than the fact of taking norms of life naturally and normally like everybody does.

I have dreams - another bigger dreams.

GASTRONOMINSPIRED: EDIBLES & IDEAS

Among many great and wonderful things happening to me in my 30 years of life, preparing meal and dealing with edible stuffs are the loveliest.

I love eating, and actually, cooking.

Somehow, it's an interrelated principles: eating and cooking. I will prepare my meal and cook it when I'm in need of food but I simply can't go out buying the ready-to-eat or dine out. And, of course, I will eat everything that I prepare and cook myself.

I'll do both happily. With love. With gusto.

THE PLUVIOPHILE(Y) ME!

Dating back to five months ago, it was a rainy afternoon in February the 25th.
As I was sitting by the large wooden window, i was staring at the drops of drizzling rain.

Beautiful and peaceful.

Again, the way that my dearest author inspires me is awesome!

I mean, hey, we are more or less the same ages, but how can't I just be as inspirative as she is? I know, I know; ages don't have anything to do with great deeds and creativity which ones do. Sure, she and I are completely two different people, and each other is destined to have different kind of ... intelligence. Errr, now I feel hurt by merely the quality that I lack of. It may be because I am not smart enough to open up my mind, get the great things around me, and share them in such an outstanding way that I can simply inspire other people - just like she always does - so that I seem to play another role as the one who is badly inspired - by so many great figures in the world; such as Sitta Karina Rachmidiharja, those people in my Google+ circle, social medias, musicians, actors, family and people in my nearest side of life; as well as by a great number of simple things around me; such as the sun, cats, paper flower, cute yellowish dry leafs, and even drops of rain. I mean, though I never am an inspirator, at least I do my job very well as an inspired one. Okay, I sound desperate just now -_-

PROJECT WANDERLUST: Traveling Home and Indulging Olden Days

to start it off, i would like to refer my thought to one of my fave quotes ever, from one of my fave films, ever as well, LIKE CRAZY, when Anna said:

"... but it's nice being away, i think it's important to get away from where you've grown up for some of your life ..."

despite loving it, i just have to go home. i mean, i have stayed far away from home due to job thingy, for - like - 2 and a-half years, and it makes going home is not a casual thing for me.

i like that - being away from home, and the idea of traveling home.

I AM ... THE ECHELON!

It started just simple: a lazy midday back in 2008 when I didn't have anything really interesting as I listened to a song on the radio. I was laying on my bed, while both ears of mine were capturing the most significant tune of the day: "The Kill". The thing which attracted me the most was the high pitch of Jared Leto's screaming in the song. Amazing! A clear and finely-tuned screaming; high and long enough to match the whole song just nicely.

Totally, I was stunned.

FINALLY BERRY!

The almost long-forgotten dream of mine has finally come true.

It does sound pretty silly to have ever forgotten something like dream - whether it's an "ordinary" dream or biggest one. But hey, is there even an "ordinary" dream?  Sure dream is extraordinary - whoever dreams it, whatever it is, how "simple" it is. Well, here i go again - having a difficult time of arguing with my very own self/alter ego.

Seriously, what i meant by almost long-forgotten is simply something which i casually put aside for a while - but, it lives - still burning in the back of my mind. It's just about the right time that my subconscious awakes and claims it.

Since i have always been pretty nostalgic and defensively stubborn, i can tell that i seem to manage my memories (and dreams) well. I can both simply endure hardships to get them memorized and come into reality, and persistently get them forgotten and, eerrr, changed into much more come-to-my-sense, logical and reachable dreams. Just like a meaningful quote which i ever read, that  we may dream anything, but wisely start it with a real simple dream within our reach, and make it even bigger time after time; or else, change our dream, dream another thing. I guess it's more to it, as everyone has their own destiny, power, and endurance. For me, I always have that feeling of "oh, here comes the end. just stop", or "well, it's not yet over. keep it up." Guess it has been the rhythm of my life - so far.