PEER LEARNING SESSION: FUN!

i don't think i had formal training on how to teach and be a good teacher - i simply didn't learn those in the classroom as i was never an education department student. but i can tell that teaching is fun - eventhough sometimes i find it very challenging, not only about the lessons i deliver, but also about the students i work my classes with.

today started with Yellowcard new single, "Here I Am Alive". i always love listening to their music as it always pumps my spirit. i was actually in a hasty state-of-mind, because i had loads of teaching schedule : 3 classes in a row! so i just hoped that everything went well.

my first class was Science class of the 2nd grade of High School. this is one of the classes where i seem to teach ALL THE TIME - and it sucks, because the ideal thing is having every class taught in random frequency by same teacher. before coming into the class, i was thinking, "was it ME teaching in that class the previous meeting?" i was unsure, but also a little bit certain. when i entered the classroom D, i panicked a little - looking into the class agenda. there, it was written clearly, in my handwriting, that i WAS in this classroom before, been teaching them, like, for FOUR times in a row!!! what the heck! for real, it was one truly awkward moment to be in the same class over and over again within a short period of time! i just thought, how boring it would be for them to have me teach them ONCE damn, again?! oh, be real!

ONE STEP AT EACH TIME: CHASING DREAMS

passing almost 30 years of my life, i realize that dreams do come true.

it has been such a mighty excellent work of God that i am able to experience those things i thought were just on my mind.

i am aware that God seems not giving me what's exactly given to everybody else : quick timing. while other people have their dreams come true at the very beginning of their lifetime, i kind of - well - have my own much later on. it's not a big problem anyway, for God has given what's precisely the best for me. still, i enjoy it all eventhough a lot of people will think that it's kinda too late. hey, c'mon! everybody just couldn't agree no more, right?

ABOUT KEEPING IT INSIDE

at some point in my life, it's hard for me to come as i am, to come out clean. i thought i would just have the guts to reveal what's inside of me. of course not. maybe it's only a matter of time. maybe i just haven't met the right person yet. maybe it's just the technical thingy. maybe i just don't need to wonder why.

when it comes about time, i feel like i am in the in-betweens of having much time and running out of it. as for my personal concern, i feel like i am trapped in an outer look which doesn't go along with reality. it just seems so wrong - even for me - that i can be in a very rush situation one time, and in a completely loose moment the other time. i am in a rush when i think about the fact that something may go out of my hand in a blink of an eye, so i have to be quick. i am loose when i am aware of the youthful in me which is just there inside of me, so just take it easy.

FLIRTATIOUSLY SWEET

being a big fanatic of chocolate, i alter my way from simply eating to making it on my own - without losing the core of it all: personal enjoyment.

my favorite is always the dark chocolate which tastes mildly sweet and a little bit bitter. i prefer nuts to raisin or other dried fruits to mix with it.

chocolate is deliberately delicious. it is one of foods of my favorite which seems guilt-free, as certain fruits or vegetables. the fact that consuming some dark chocolate is somehow good for health makes me love it more. besides, it doesn't taste too sweet so i won't be sorry for having any problem from it. i just simply feel more at ease to eat it.

DESERVING A SHOT

admitting that i am wrong when i have done something wrong is not an easy thing. i find that it is hard to even forgive myself at some point. the feeling of "how could i be that stupid?!", or "how the hell did i lose my mind?!", or "what's in the world that i could be that insane?!" is so hard to deal with.

the tendency of being stuck on the past seems to be the heart of it all. it may also define that mechanism of defense thingy within me. i defend myself from me. simply just not knowing where to start mending by accepting all the way that i am.

as time ticks away every second of it, it should be just simple for me to move on with such a big heart of mine that it does not even matter that sometimes i make some mistakes. why can't i just come out in modest and humble way after all? instead, i keep blaming myself and by doing so: wasting my good times regretting things i know i can never go back to the past and fix them. suddenly, my life is a mess.

SCRIPT #1: A BOOK OF A ONE-SIDED LOVE

here it is my very first book project. the whole thing about it is a boy of 14 years old who seemingly turned my daily basis into something i have never ever done before : learning of letting go. the best thing about it - which i have never realized before - is that i can go through it instead of thinking that i couldn't.

i wrote 3 brief chapters of the re-written pieces. brief but they cover all things about him that inspire me.

BOOKS: MY METAPHORS OF LIFE

book is fun.

book is enlightment.

book is a lonely killer.

book is a cool distraction.

just, book is everything to me!

i'm a big reader - mostly to myself. my keenness on book is a metaphor of my basic need : contenment. me being secured is somehow my ultime concern - and reading is one of the ways to it.